Dirtquake: is it a time, a place, a motion? Is it the way we are feeling? Actually, it’s none of those. Dirtquake, more specifically, Dirtquake V (as in five written the swanky Ancient Roman way) is this event they hold every year at the Adrian Flux Arena in Norfolk metropolis King’s Landing, where loads of people off the street with random bikes charge around a dirt track for the hell of it.

But Dirtquake was very much the way Bankstone top gun Dixie Tombstone was feeling the other week when he attended this top amateur dirting event (as a guest of everybody’s favourite bike insurance provider Bikesure) and there encountered (his fellow guest) the fragrant Selina Lavender, chairwoman of volunteer-led riders’ rights association the Motorcycle Action Group (MAG).

Desperate for any opportunity to spend more time in Ms Lavender’s company, Dix blurted out his newly-formed long-held desire that Bankstone should become a corporate member of the aforementioned MAG. Graciously, Ms L agreed to have her people contact Mr Tombstone about his membership application, before hastening off to talk to former Creedence Clearwater frontman Carl Fogarty who was also there as a guest of Bikesure.

If all goes well with Bankstone’s application, and no-one becomes suspicious of Mr T’s motivations in submitting it, we hope to announce Bankstones’s corporate membership of MAG in the near future. In the meantime, may we just say that anyone who has not previously witnessed the mayhem that is Dirtquake (like an earthquake – but with dirt) really needs to get themselves along to King’s Landing next year.

Where else are you going to see rank amateurs and pros alike racing choppers, Harleys, “inappropriate” road bikes, street scramblers or – apparently – ladies round and round one of the country’s top bits of dirt!

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Guy Martin: what the forks?!


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