‘Why do we even have claims?’ insurers must be wondering.

A damning new study released by the Association of Brutish Insurers (AIB) has revealed that claims these days are still mostly b*llocks.

That’s right: according to the ABI, there are no fewer than 2,400 fraudulent claims made every single week of the UK year. That’s the equivalent of a whopping 1.3 BILLION GBPs every single year until the end of time and/or you die, whichever takes longer.

Yes, these are pretty scary figures. But, don’t worry, the ABI has a handle on it. Dodgy claims are already coming down, and now the Abes have a cunning plan. Or if not a plan exactly, then at least a slogan. The slogan – and you may want to sit down for this – is… Are you ready? OK, just checking. The slogan is: “The con is not on.”

You’ve got to admit, that’s really quite a slogan. Especially if you repeat it several times. The con is not on. The con is not on. You can experiment with the emphasis, but the essential point is never less than absolutely clear.

Not since British Rail’s “Let the train take the strain” (or possibly the British Potato Marketing Board’s “Our spuds are not duds”) has such a splendid slogan been seen or heard within the bounds of these here scepter’d isles.

So now, armed with its trusty (albeit new-forged) slogan, the ABI intends to sally forth against the hordes of fraud and lay into these unscrupulous ruffians pell mell, willy nilly, and above all sans merci! In fact they’re already doing it.

“We’ve achieved real success in tackling organised fraud in the last year,” says the ABI’s Sir James ‘Duelling’ Dalton. For which the Association must surely be congratulated, if only on the basis that achieving real success is better than achieving unreal, notional or hypothetical success in tackling organised fraud.

Motor fraud claims are down in both numerical and monetary terms, by 5% or thereabouts, totalling 69,000 in the former respect and £780m in the latter. Organised C4C fraud is significantly down, but there’s been a little bit of an uptick in so-called ‘spur-a-da-moment’ fraudulent claims, with the number of unpremeditated ‘just fancied it’ type claims rising from 53,000 in 2015 to 57,000 last year.

According to Jimmy D, this is why, even thought motor fraud is falling, it remains 100% imperative that HMG cracks on with the War on Whiplash and bans PI claims once and for all, and all and for once. ASAPly.


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