A despicable fat-cat lawyer has outraged right-thinking people everywhere by demanding that Lord or Lady Chancellor Liz Truss attend his firm’s offices in Euston to be lectured about how she should and shouldn’t be shaping Great Britain’s laws for the twenty-first century.

Just who the heck, without putting too fine a point on it, does this joker think he’s talking to! Does Patrick Alien (for that is this comedian’s name) seriously imagine that Lord Liz has nothing better to do than waste her time talking to lawyers!

As if that weren’t bad enough, this muppet promises to wheel out a bunch of so-called ‘ordinary people’ who, he claims, have brought the kind of claims the Min of Jus is planning to do away with when it brings in its proposed small claims reforms.

Parading these spongers in front of La Truss will surely only strengthen her resolve to crack down, once and for all, on rogue citizens who hound and persecute decent hard working companies and individuals whose negligence has caused only trivial harm.

Alien, a senior porter with law firm Todge Bones & Alien, claims raising the small claims limit from £1k to £500k will make “equality of arms a distant memory” in the compensation game, as low-value claimants lose the right to recover their costs and are “forced” to represent themselves.

Well, boo hoo hoo, Mr So-Called Alien. Would you really care if you weren’t worried about losing your slice of the action pie? And as for all these ‘ordinary people’ who will supposedly lose out from this long-overdue crack down on whingers and mallingerers, let’s face it they’re mostly just trying it on.

If we’re going to excise the tumour of compensation that’s eating away at the profitability of our insurance industry – and many other sectors besides – there’s bound to be a hint of collateral damage. The proverbial omelette, you will perhaps recall, could not be made without some breakage of proverbial eggs.

Are you seriously suggesting that’s not a price worth paying? Because, if you are, a lot of genuinely decent ordinary people are going to be very unhappy when their premiums go up again, and, we’re not saying they should, but if they felt like making that anger plain, well, who could really blame them!

So let’s stop all this posturing, shall we. Disband your rabble of so-called ordinaries. Lord Liz can see them perfectly well for what they really are, without the bother of meeting them, and will no doubt show true Brit grit in enacting the clearly expressed will of decent honest policyholders everywhere.

The free hand-outs stop here!



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