December 22, 2017

Anyone lucky enough to have received a Bankstone Christmas card this Christmas will doubtless have shared the bitter disappointment Bankstone News experienced upon discovering that it’s exactly the same card as last year.

It seems a couple of stray zeros on last year’s print order will see this card in use for at least another decade.

But since it’s deja vue on the card front, we thought you might perhaps be interested to learn the fascinating true story behind the dismal scene depicted on said card (pictured below).

You would? Then simply click here, Reader, and you’re sure to be glad you did – it’s a rollicking old tale!

In the meantime – along with wishing all our readers a very merry Christmas and a happy and preposterous new year – we thought we’d sign off for the year with our favourite minced pie recipe.

Firstly take the following: two satsumas or tangerines (the things you find at the bottom of your socks around this time of year), one apple, the zeal of one lemon, some icing sugar (if not available, basically any white powder will do), 400g plain flour (see comments under icing sugar), 250g butter (or some substance whose identity as anything other than butter would be hard to credit), 125g of standard-issue sugar (again, see other white powders), one large egg (something avian ideally), 600g of lean minced beef (or, if you fancy ringing the changes, why not try lamb and simply swap out the lemon zeal for 4tbs of dried rosemary).

Next place all the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl and stir vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Then simply plop your mixture into a sturdy and capacious baking dish and stick it in the oven at 250C (fan 250C) for 45 mins or until you smell burning. Remove from the oven and place on a flat heatproof surface. Quickly open all your windows and use a tea towel to fan any overhead smoke detectors until smoke-free silence is restored. Allow your minced pie to stand for 10 mins. Then serve in small shallow bowls and watch your guests’ faces light up with yuletide good cheer (it helps if you’ve warmed them up first with a couple of Snowball Surprises (one part Advocaat, one part lemonade, five parts Absinthe, 10 parts full strength export lager). But that’s enough recipes for now!

We’ll be back in the new year with the usual mix of hard hitting factual news analysis and that other thing we do.

Until then, here’s hoping you’ll be simply having a wonderful Christmas time!

Click to learn more!


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