Older readers will fondly recall the days when British cinema consisted almost exclusively of black and white footage of bluff moustachioed chaps in uniform sitting in and around prefabricated airfield buildings, pipes in mouths, newspapers in hands, just waiting for the call to dash into airborne action against our nation’s would-be assailants.

Something rather similar now takes place in at least one Met-Po cop shop, where, even as we write, the force’s finest exponents of dirt-bikery are held in constant readiness to launch themselves and their machines (four brand new extensively decalled BMW trail bikes) against incoming scooter criminals. When the call comes to scramble, that’s exactly what they do.

Regular readers will surely recall how last week Bankstone News exclusively revealed that Surrey Police are now using ‘special sprays’ to scent mark runaway scooter criminals, whom the boys in blue have previously struggled to keep up with once pursuit ensues.

This dramatic new dirt bike deployment adds another potent weapon to the rozzers’ anti-scooter arsenal, putting two-wheeled hoodlums on notice that their antics will not be tolerated.

In addition to besting the scooter boys at their own game (the running away bit, clearly, not the theft with violence aspect), the new Met-Po Scramblers plan to race ahead of their prey and unfurl stinger spike strips to crush the hoodlums’ getaway dreams.

According to Met-Po Commissioner Cressida Dick, the new BMW Lightweight GS-P BMW F700s are already making a difference, with reported moped crime down a bit since July. She also called for Londoners to rise up and “channel their outrage” against scooter thugs.

Exactly how, she left unclear; but perhaps torchlit pitchfork outings to the murky haunts of moped marauders might be a jolly way to kick things off. Just to let them know the wind has turned and that it’s going to be blowing pretty damned hard.


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