January 26, 2011

In what down-with-the-kids news organ The Sun has oddly opted to characterise as “the most unexpected musical collaboration since GLENN HODDLE and CHRIS WADDLE sang Diamond Lights in 1987” (a curious reflection on the red top’s target demographic) portly car insurance mascot Gio Compario is to collaborate with Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones.

Or rather: Welsh tenor Wynne Evans is – because Bankstone News has just made the heartbreaking discovery that Gio Compario is not a real person!

Jones – born John Baldwin – selected the exotic Cambrian surname and the continentalesque double-barrel first name to make himself sound more interesting: like some Gitanes-smoking French philosopher or a pope or something. Wynne took on the pseudo-Italian Compario monicker to make a bit of a tit of himself/provide for a comfortable retirement.

Apparently, the pair met during rehearsals for a new musical based on the life of another fascinating individual with a double-barrel name: acclaimed thespian, muse and role model Anna Nicole Smith. Now Evans’ vocal talents are to feature on a forthcoming release from the erstwhile mandolins-to-Mellotrons god of heavy rock.

What does moody hunk Evans, 37, see in the sexagenarian Jones? If you ask Bankstone News – and we would strongly recommend that you do not – he’s only doing it for the money.


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