Writing in notorious lefty rag the Mail on Sunday, Britain’s best respected financial commentator Jeff ‘Alan’ Prestridge has hit out at fat cat insurance barons and their evil scheming ways.

Claiming that the ABI’s members are “nasty insurers” Prestridge proposes hilariously that the representative body should change its name to “the Association of British Inconsiderates”.

“I am sure you will agree,” Jeff writes, “the Association of British Inconsiderates has a nice, honest ring to it and better reflects how the organisation’s members (nasty insurers) go about their business.”

Retaining the same initials, he further notes, means the ABI won’t have to changes its “jazzed-up logo” (Mr Prestrigde is an older gentleman). Which, he speculates, like the nasty insurance its members peddle, did not, no doubt, come cheap.

His new name proposal has the added advantage (in retaining the word British) of preserving the illusion that companies like Allianz, AXA, Uvavu and Zurich are somehow indigenous to this country.

The minor disadvantage of its no longer including any reference to insurance is surely outweighed, by the chucklesome inclusion of the memorably unwieldy ‘Inconsiderates’ which so jazzily encapsulates insurers’ cavalier stance toward their customers.

The particular brand of inconsideration that has wound up Mr P to such heights of playful penmanship is ABI members’ failure to recognise loyalty on the part of its long-suffering customers.

Taking up the cudgel on behalf of old and lazy policyholders who’ve failed to understand that you have to switch all your suppliers every year if you don’t want to get royally shafted, Jeff is literally on fire with righteous indignation and whimsical wordplay.

“Loyal motorists and homeowners,” he complains, “who religiously renew their insurance with the same company every year” are not getting the “special loving treatment” their “unbending devotion” merits. Far from it! Their premiums are mysteriously going up year after year “irrespective of the fact that they have never made a claim.”

Even one of the the Association of British Inconsiderates’ own ‘members’ has admitted that routinely abusing the loyal makes for a ‘dysfunctional’ market, with Uvavu mooting controversial plans to trial a new pricing structure that rewards loyalty.

Until all the rest of The Inconsiderates follow suit, however, Mr Prestridge has vowed to maintain his scathing barrage of hard-hitting print bants, barking out loudly and clearly: “Shame on you, Association of British Inconsiderates!”


    What our clients say about us

    Well mannered operator. Well spoken and a friendly voice at a time when it is much needed.
    Mr. W - Toon