Personal injury claims may be down (as reflected in a report issued this week by the Faculty and Union and Council of Actuaries), but sadly they are not yet out. Sensing that more needs to be done to bring about the fuss-free world all forward thinking businesses dream of, HMG has unveiled bold new plans to make justice less affordable.

Increases of up to 600% in the cash deposits required of anyone planning to bring a claim to court, should help deter those who might otherwise be tempted to go grubbing after cash handouts every time they sustain some trivial wound or injury. Initiatives like this are exactly what we need to cut the drag of rag-tag damaged-goods human detritus on the forward thrust of Business Team GB.

Predictably, whinging legal bods are already bleating on about how unfair it is that people can’t afford to go to law. What’s eating those parasites is that there’ll be less work for them! Former Chelski midfielder and alternative rock legend John Spencer, currently with lobby group P.I.L., has been banging on about how “some seriously-injured people will be expected to pay £10,000 up front to bring their cases to court, and many simply won’t be able to afford it.”

Well, sorry John, but Justice costs and right here is where your malingering layabout something-for-nothing clients are going to have to start paying.



    What our clients say about us

    The gentleman I spoke to on my call was thoroughly pleasant and professional.He displayed a keen attentiveness and thorough knowledge of every aspect of the matter in hand and left me feeling confident that my claim would be handled with the minimum of fuss.
    Mr. R - Gravesend