December 19, 2016

A couple of dodgy areas known locally as “Cottage Lane” and “Relief Road” are amongst the most notorious spots in all the UK.

Outraged members of the public have made no fewer than 271 complains about what goes on in so-called Cottage Lane and 115 about Relief Road. So, what on earth has been going on in these benighted endroits?

Well, whatever else you may have been thinking, this is actually a story about holes. And by that we mean holes, let’s not beat about the bush, of the very worst possible kind. The kind that those who prefer that digging implements should be clearly labelled spade call quite simply potholes.

That’s right: Cottage Lane (located, let’s just say, somewhere in the county of Lancashire) is the UK’s number one hotspot for pothole complaints. One of a host of similarly complained about pothole hotspots dotted across the North West of England.

This is according to local council data gathered, via a Freedom of Infotainment request, made by CarpArts4Less, who’ve created an online ‘tool’ that helps drivers avoid the worst routes, something they can also achieve by simply steering clear of the North West (and, as if it needed saying, Bradford, home to the dreaded Relief Road).

Ben Egleton from OK Caroline, who confesses to being a regular habitué of the notorious Cottage Lane, confirms that he’s had a “dreadful” time of it. Ben says he has “personally suffered a puncture” one night on his way back from work: an occasion on which two fellow travellers also came to grief. But apparently the council have sorted it all out now.

So if there’s a 2017 most-complained-about-roads-in-Britain survey, Cottage Lane won’t be on it.

Or will it… woo-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Sorry.

randall_staringintotheabyss


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