Bankstone News attended a fascinating seminar recently at which a voluble young man without a tie clued us in to some new fangled thing called SOE which involves writing – not in the outdated and debased mode of standard grammatical English – but in a language called something like Optimazation.
Basically it’s like making a soup or a stew or something. It’s really easy. In fact you can throw the words together in pretty much any order you like – so long as you use the right combination of quay words (these are words your potential customers will enjoy reading over and over and will actually search out on the interweb using special computer programmes called Spaders).
The beauty of it is you can now get highly affordable providers in countries with more competitive labour markets to write all your web copy, news stories etc. etc. Which is what we intend to do from now on. You’ll have to wait until next week to see the first fruits of our labours – or rather those of our our new outsourced business partners. But, for now, kindly click here to see how this radical new approach to language is already working for some other company (something to do with managing accidents, it would appear – bit hard to tell).
Optimazation creates endless new possibilities, combining words in ways no one’s even thought of before. Who could forget classic lines from the article we’ve linked to above like: “There’s a side to accident management that’s with another league to the sorts of company the media pillorie.” Or: “It may seem guess what happens the role of the accident management company is but have you thought about the need for the plan to the sufferers of accidents?”
Well have you? Bankstone News certainly hadn’t. Most refreshing!
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