April 7, 2010

You know me, evil eye
You know me, prepare to die
You know me, the snakebite kiss
Devil’s grip, the Iron Fist

So growled Ian Fraser Kilmister, aka Lemmy, on Motörhead’s composition of that name. Whilst they might be well advised to steer clear of the snakebite kiss, bikers can now have an Iron Fist all of their own thanks to the launch of Knox’s revolutionary Handroid, a kind of glovey-thing with like wires in.

Yes, the Knox Handroid makes it harder than ever before to totally destroy your hands and wrists during impromtu 80mph dismounts. It has “live exoskeletal finger and knuckle protection on all fingers and thumb.” It has “additional sliding systems on all sides which ensure that in the event of an accident the majority of contact with the ground ids with sliders not leather” (which turns out not to be leather, but super-tough Kangaroo skin). It’s got 19 strands of tensioned stainless steel wire and a precision adjustment cuff adjustment system where you set the correct torque for you with a little dial-y thing. Loads of stuff like that.

Amazing really.

The literature doesn’t say whether it allows you to lift people who annoy you up by the throat and leave them dangling pitifully in mid-air, but it probably does.


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