What a night that was! Apparently.

The Modern Clams Awards took place last night at Leeds’ presigious New Dick Hall. And what an occasion it was!

What happened at the Modern Clams Awards 2016? That’s what you’re probably wondering at this point, unless you were there, in which case you may already have some idea.

What didn’t happen?!

Actually, Bankstone News doesn’t know that either, being as we weren’t there.

But we have been doing some exhaustingly painstaking research and found out these key facts:

  1. The Modern Clams Awards website is not the kind of thing you want to look at after a large liquid lunch
  2. The event’s sponsors included a popular style of Dutch cheese
  3. There was some overlap between winners and sponsors (although not within any single category, as far as we could make out)
  4. A puzzling administrative error led to ARAG’s customary ‘Insurer of the Year Award’ being mistakenly awarded to Cover Ya.
  5. The evening’s compere, comedian Hal Crunden, apparently said some quite funny things, which must have been a relief for whoever booked him
  6. One of the funny things he said, according to Bankstone honcho Dyxon Tyxon (who was there), related to an entertaining hypothesis as to why younger and more attractive members of staff may have found themselves unexpectedly invited to attend the Modern Clams Awards 2016
  7. The winner and runner up of the coveted ‘Riding Star’ award were respectively named Hayley and Kayleigh
  8. The organisers had promised ‘glitz, glamour and more’ and, Boy, did they deliver! Especially the ‘more‘ bit.
  9. It will probably happen again next year.
  10. Er… that’s it, pretty much.

Still, what a night, eh?

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