November 23, 2011

Not content with heading up the most strangely named outfit in the world of insurance, it seems Markerstudy’s Kevin Spencer is planning to become a pawn barron.

In reporting this story, Insurance Age has somehow got its hands on what is surely the week’s most arcane metaphorical explanation for corporate strategy.

When asked why Markerstudy had decided to purchase E J Markham, the “oldest pawnbrokers in Essex” a company spokesbeing simply noted that the acquisition shows that, whilst Markerstudy is currently known for insurance, “the other strings to its bow are being lubricated, and liberally”.

Whilst normally something of an authority on liberal lubrication (particularly of a Friday afternoon), Bankstone News must confess to some initial puzzlement as to the precise import of this statement.

But, if we clear our head, switch off the IACGMOOH live feed, turn Susan Boyle’s Nativity Cruiseline Anthems down to 7, pour another Malibu and milk, and r-e-a-l-l-y concentrate, Bankstone News can generally puzzle these things out in the end.

So let’s see if we can parse this one… Having more than one string to one’s bow is something to do with archery. It roughly means that if one string goes west, you’ve got another spare. Which is good.

A little further research reveals that lubrication – with a product such as Ronnie Sunshine’s Lube Wax or Xcclerator Bow String Wax – keeps your bow strings fresh and twangy. Although – a word of caution might be in order for Markerstudy here – over-enthusiastic lubrication can bring problems of its own.

So basically it sounds like Markerstudy are sitting pretty with a lovely lubed-up second string, so that, as and when the whole insurance lark goes tits up, they’ll always have pawn to fall back on.

See, it’s never as complicated as it seems at first!


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