March 23, 2015

Anyone hoping to take part in what will surely be the participatory motorsports event of the decade, Mountain Monkeys (two days of stouthearted businessfolk grinding round Yorkshiremanshire on wee tiny bikelets for charity, see previous issues) will clearly need such a bike to ride.

Unless, that is, they perversely insist on staying safe and dry inside one of the support vehicles while occasionally pretending to navigate, take photos, or whatever.

Assuming, as Bankstone News hopes it may, that you your very self, Dear Reader, will want to be among the number of the Mountain Monkey people, might we suggest you take steps to ascertain whether or not you are already the proud (or otherwise) owner of a monkeybike (as defined by the British Institute of Monkey Bike Orthodoxy).

If you are not, then be not altogether too much afeared! Through the beneficent good offices of Bankstone’s big mate Cyril “Chelly” Chell we are once again able to offer Bankstone Readers smaller than average motorcycles at smaller than average prices!

That’s right: we have 125cc Monkey Bikes, 125cc Gorillas, or 125cc DAXs, all from just £££ SEVEN_EIGHT_OH! That’s SEVEN EIGHT OH! pounds of your UK sterling money notes, Squire.

What’s more, that unbeatable price – £500 less than you’d pay at any other store – includes FREE 12 months road tax, FREE registration fee, FREE additional handling charge, FREE non-specific surcharge, FREE generic imposition toll, and FREE VAT!

Fans of shoppers’ favourite the indomitable DAX 125 may be interested to learn that this in-no-way-unmanly steed now has a 5.5 litre fuel tank in place of the previous 2.5, freeing you to nip down to even the least conveniently located convenience store and quite possibly make it home again, with gas to spare. And, yes, don’t worry: the DAX still comes with the ever-popular tartan “total cheek comfort” seat.

What’s even more still: if you don’t like the idea of your bike staying in one piece, we can now offer the unique “bike in bits” adaptor kit, as featured in last week’s Bankstone News, which enables you to pull your bike apart in five minutes flat and hide it away somewhere in some attractive canvas bags (pictured), for JUST THREE-OH-OH pounds, including VAT and pre-fitted by Chelly and his boys.

Contact the Chelster direct on 01785 251975 quoting “Mountain Monkey Offer” or get Bankstone’s Diphthong Trysoap to sort it out for you by clicking here to email him with your demands.


What our clients say about us

After the problems I had with my previous insurer when I was knocked off my bike, it was very refreshing to talk to someone who didn't automatically assume that I was at fault simply because I ride a motorbike. I received a call back very quickly from someone who knew what I was talking about and dealt with my call in a friendly yet very professional manner. Thank you.
Mr. L - Westcliff on Sea