June 21, 2013

There was bad news this week for all those who liked East Anglian affiliated insurance giant Uvavu the size and shape it was. Uvavu oops director Cathryn Royally told the Eastern Daily Press that changes currently underway will result in “an organisation which is very different in both shape and size.”

Responding to this unsettling news, one distressed Uvavu follower told Bankstone News “If they were going to change anything, I was hoping it would be the colour. I’ve never really been able to get on with all that yellow. That’s what they should be looking at, if they want to start changing things. It’s bad enough they’re messing around with the size, but Uvavu has always been a really lovely shape. I just don’t understand why they would do this.”

The upcoming size and shape changes, it emerged this week, will be accompanied by the loss of 650 “roles” and 300 “contractor posts” across the UK, as part of a global plan to jettison 2,000 excess bodies, which, as regular readers will doubtless recall, is part of a global plan to keep the Good Ship Uvavu bouyant through the current stormy economy (read our full shocking exposé of this story here).

On the plus side, it looks like Uvavu may be planning to sever its ties with that unpopular yellow livery as well. In the same interview, Ms Royally let slip that Uvavu “has committed to transparency”.

This would clearly be a highly original branding concept, though it could be tricky making much of an impact signage-wise. Bankstone News for one, however, is looking forward to seeing (or not seeing?) those see-through Uvavu shirts/teeshirts/fleeces etc at next year’s BIBA Conference. Let’s just hope they’re not sacking all the staff who are the right size and shape for such apparel.

small scale prototype

Artist’s impression of the SS New Uvavu


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