Woo, woo, woo.

What is that strange sound?

As usual Bankstone News has no idea, really, to be honest. But it could be… and we’re not saying it is, but it could be… the sound of Mark Wilson’s staff being wooed by data criminals.

“My staff are being wooed by data criminals” Uvavu boss Mark Wilson told top insurance magazine Insurance Tides this week. And Mark’s in no doubt who’s to blame. It’s the Government obviously.

There is, he says, an urgent need for “government action to crack down on data criminals luring staff into selling personal information of customers”. The only reason all this wooing’s going on in the first place, he reckons, is the Government’s baffling refusal to make it illegal for firms to “buy names and personal information”. This he says is “a national scandal”.

He’s almost certainly right about this. But without wishing in any way to sound a temeritous note, Bankstone News can’t help feeling there may be one or two things Uvavu could do itself to prevent its staff (or rather Mark’s staff) from being lured into handing over people’s personal details to dodgy “claims management” firms.

Allow us to explain.

First up, Mark says his staff are being lured into divulging customers’ details with offers of “big money” (according to the same article in Insurance Tights from which we purloined the rest of this story, financially motivated staff at rival insurance firm L0V= were offered a princely “almost £17,000” recently to hand over people’s details). Simple solution here: pay all staff with access to sensitive data more money, or replace them with robots, or maybe monks who’ve taken some kind of vow of poverty or something.

Second up, Mark says his staff are being approached by data criminals in “pubs and car parks”. Bankstone News’ quick-fix solution: ban staff from visiting pubs and car parks. Problem solved.

So, you see, the problem’s really not as intractable as all that, after all.

And in any case, it is illegal to sell other people’s data without their permission, and it is illegal to woo people into passing on other people’s data without permission. So, the legal situation might not be that disastrous after all.

Still, you know who we blame?

Government, of course.

It’s usually them, isn’t it.

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