You can kind of understand why London Major Sadiq “Citizen” Khan couldn’t wait another couple of hours, ahead of his City Hall meeting with a delegation from the Motor Cycle Indus try Associa tion (MCIA), to tell the world about his brilliant new idea for fighting bike theft in the capital.

When a pure-genius flash of inspiration like that hits, it’s hard to keep it to yourself.

Who knows exactly how the Khan brain works, but suddenly out of nowhere a brainwave washed over him. It must have gone a bit like this: maybe if you want to stop people stealing bikes, it would be helpful if manufacturers fitted some kind of ‘anti-theft measures’ to some of the machines they sell.

Of course! That’s it! People are only stealing bikes because the firms that sell them have done literally nothing to deter would-be thieves from straddling them, kicking the pedal (or pressing a button, or however these things work), and riding away.

Taking a break from his usual packed schedule of self-inflatory preening and posturing, the capital’s puffed up popinjay in chief tweeted “I’m working with @metpoliceuk to tackle moped crime – but it’s time for manufacturers to step up and design anti-theft measures into their vehicles to help keep Londoners safe”.

MCIA CEO Tony Campbell must not have checked his twitter feed – or listened to a word the Mayor said – because he was still insisting later that day that “there is no silver bullet” when it comes to bike theft.

Some members of the biking community are even trying to make out that bikes already have security devices – but that these are no match for robbers armed with hammers, knives and angle-grinders.

It’s not bike manufacturers’ job to keep Londoners safe, it’s the Mayor’s, such malcontents maintain outlandishly. Perhaps they’d also like SK to wipe their little noses for them and tuck them up at night!

Mr Khan and his police officers clearly have 101 more important things to do than fighting acid-wielding tooled-up thuglets on an ultraviolent bike-crime binge. MCIA and their ilk would do well not to waste any more of the Metropolitan First Citizen’s valuable time.

Especially, when he’s just explained how manufacturers could stop bike crime in its tracks if they simply fitted anti-theft measures!

Fitting quick-release wild dogs could could be one way of making your bike more secure


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