November 2, 2014

Inherent within every new technology upon whose unleashment mankind so fervently congratulates itself are the seeds of its own undoing.

So smart are today’s luxury four-wheeled status symbols that any idiot with a freely available mobile digital device that’s barely half as smart as a Rage Rover Ewok, for example, and costs a great deal less, can decode, reprogramme, and half-inch the thing within approximately 850 millijiffies.

The Secret Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traitors (SMUT) this week warned that anyone expecting to retain longterm ownership of their top of the range four-wheel pride and joy had better keep it in a cunningly disguised intraterrestrial bat-cave type facility overnight, or fence it round with 24-hour armed guards or auto-bollards or some such.

Otherwise, some joker with a motor mechanic’s diagnosis unit can come round, press a few buttons, and fob off with it into the inky anonymity of the urban night, there to roughly switch its plates and force it into a new life as a (bona fide) pimp mobile, or strip it down for the hi-val motor parts market.

There has been a spate of reports just lately that insurers have been declining to quote for top ticket 4x4s and other luxury vehicles left out in the open overnight. While motor manufacturers have been frantically attempting to overcomplicate their coding to the point of uncrackableness, the villains just snort derisively and press a few more buttons.

How bitterly ironic that, at the very point when mankind seemed on the brink of doing away, once and finally for all, with the hateful mechanical car key, the whole concept of the keyless on-off switching e-vehicle should be thus imperilled by the inexhaustibly iniquitous ingenuity of the tech-enabled motor theft sector.

Spollox, really, init?

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