November 27, 2009

Axa has been totting up its business insurance claims data and can now reveal… that the UK’s number-one business crime hotspot is… – fumbles with envelope – Halifax!

But if you’re looking for a really hot spot bizcrime-wise look no further than arson-capital Kilmarnock where delinquents keep their spirits up through the long chilly winters by torching local businesses and/or despairing would-be entrepreneurs torch their own with whisky for propellant.

Want to handle something hot? You could do worse than Wolverhampton (not a phrase you often hear), where – Axa’s “Business Crime Index” suggests – businesses are most at risk from theft.

Not content with a simple top 20 (Halifax, Manchester, Bristol, Croydon, London Southside, Northampton, London EC, Oldham, Sutton, Bradford, Doncaster, Wakefield, Doudleh, Enfield, Liverpewel, Wigan, Motherwell, Walsall, St Albans, Southall, if you must know) Axa’s press people add broader socio-economic commentary with the claim that areas hit hardest by the current economic crisis (e.g. The North and West Midlands) are suffering as people turn to crime.

Not content with that, they deftly apply the currently obligatory seasonal twist with the claim that “As retail businesses increase stock levels for Christmas it provides richer pickings for thieves. As takings rise and shops stay open longer, the potential for lucrative hold-ups also increases.” Meanwhile “drunken revelry can lead to malicious damage or even arson attacks.”

So if you’re reading this in Kilmarnock get your hose out!


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