The colour of your car can say a lot about you! If your car is black people will think you’re really attractive. If it’s yellow you’re probably all bubbly and happy and that. But if you drive a red car, you should maybe think about going to anger management classes.

That’s according to a literally incredible new study carried out by motor vehicle retailer Junction 600. Old Henry Ford must have been onto something, because black really is ‘the new black’! A staggering one in five motorists find people who drive black cars irresistibly sexy. They can’t help it, they just do!

But women over 55, says Junction 600, find black a turn off. It’s a rich deep conservative blue that floats their bonnets. Just a hint for you older gentlemen out there!

But the one thing you really can’t afford to do, if you ever again hope to hook up with someone for friendship and maybe more, is to drive a brown car. Brown cars are Potassium Bromide on four wheels. You might as well roll up riding a smelly old donkey as arrive in something brown. Brown is a perfectly acceptable colour for things like tree trunks, excrement and chocolate cake – but never for a car.

“Drivers of red, yellow and pink cars consider themselves happiest,” Junction 600 reveals (although they might just be in denial and outwardly overcompensating for morbidly implacable feelings of bitterness, disappointment and despair), whereas drivers of beige, grey and (obviously) brown cars are just plain sad and have basically embraced it.

One surprise from the Junction 600 survey was that drivers of pink cars get proportionately more speeding tickets than drivers of any other coloured cars, closely followed by green car drivers. The surprise, clearly, is that there are enough people driving pink cars to generate statistically meaningful data. Bankstone News thought it was just those seat-belt-spurning glamour birds in the Steeler’s Wheel ads.

Of course it’s mostly women that are bothered about what colour their car is, with 52% of females telling Junction 600 that not just size and shape but “colour mattered” when purchasing a car. Most men are far too sensible to worry about a little thing like colour. They’re perfectly happy driving around in a beige, tan, or flat-out brown car, provided the fuel economy figures are impressive. In terms of attractiveness, after all, let’s be honest, the colour of a man’s car is often the least of his problems.

Pathetic really.




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