May 18, 2015

Bankstone Chief Executive, Chairman and Honorary Founder Life President De’Khan “Dix” Tyson is not a man to blow his own trumpet, not, at any rate, since he was forced to abandon youthful dreams of Olga Cornet/Nadia Communist style gymnastic superstardom in the wake of a freak unicycle accident in his later teens.

But the blinding intensity of the man’s modesty must not be allowed to obscure the key role Tystone played in the Conservative Party’s recent unexpected poll triumph. When most UK business leaders want to talk to top tory David Cameroon, they have to phone for an appointment or something. Not so Dix Tysun, he just suggested that the PM might want to pop in for a chat and a biscuit, and, lo, it came to pass.

Happy as Tysot would be no doubt be to allow Conservative spin doctor Lynford Christie to hog the plaudits, you should know, Dear Reader that without the priceless words of advice handed out by Mr T to Davie C in the course of an informal summit in the Bankstone man’s home town of Addlinghamtonby, W Yorks, we might even now be labouring under the tyranny of evil Scots super-bitch Nicolas Surgeon, ruling through spineless puppet figurehead Ed Millipede.

Tyson it was, not Christie, who suggested the genius idea of terrifying the nation’s voters with the prospect of foreigners being allowed to tell true Brits what to do on their own soil, a strategy that has since proved so monumentally effective that someone will probably want to commission one of those £30k engraved stone thingies to commemorate it.

Dix would probably deny it all if you asked him, but the photo reproduced below clearly tells a different story.


ShareShare


What our clients say about us

Jo was friendly while still professional. She answered any questions and was patient and happy to help. Next steps and cover confirmation could have been a bit clearer. I've had calls from credit hire that I was expecting for replacement bike but they were pushing to do repairs. I was told this would be done by an approved repair. I called just after 9am to notify a claim and was told I would receive a call back within 10 to 15mins. I had to call back an hour later as no one had called back. The lady who answered, Jo, did deal with things straight away and was very helpful
Mrs. L - North Shields