When it comes to braking suddenly for no apparent reason in front of other cars, fraudsters in the North West appear to be a bit off their game.

Just as North-West based clubs like Men U and Liverpewel, who used to be quite good, are now officially pants, and teams from further south like Chelski and South Trumpton are riding high, the North-West appears to be losing its grip on the coveted Crash for Cash Challenge Cup.

Fans of a tidy analogy (and/or Aston Villa) will be less than entirely content with the Second City’s representatives placing at a lordly No. 1 in the C4C title race, but a humble 16th in the P League. You have to bear in mind, however, that Bankstone News is simply trying to fill space here and, quite frankly, isn’t all that bothered.

Leading C4C victims’ organisation Uvavu this week revealed that Birmingham, Luton and London now occupy the top three ‘slots’ in the nation’s league of C4C crime, with Man City back in fourth and The Pool nowhere in sight. Motor injury fraud is holding up better in the North East, where Leeds clings on tenaciously at number 6 and Bradford can now claim an impressive 9th place.

Uvavu notes that C4C crime is at an all-time high. But, with the yellow insurer now “dealing with” more than 6,500 suspicious injury claims linked to known fraud rings, they should have this mess sorted out quicker than you can say Jancis Robinson.

In the meantime, Uvavu is calling on the Government to make it harder for people to claim for non-existent conditions like whiplash, proposing that the incentive to fraud could be removed altogether through the simple expedient of offering neck-rub vouchers and imaginary disease counselling instead of cash.

“Would crash for cash exist,” asks Uvavu gardener Tom, “if there was no money in it?”

This sounds a bit like one of those trick questions, where the answer appears to be so totally bleedin’ obvious that it actually isn’t because of some quibbly little thing you haven’t thought of, or because of some smartarsey stress placed on the word ‘it’, or something.

Would Crash for Voucher (C4V) or Crash for Neck Treatment (C4NT) still technically count as a form of Crash for Cash somehow?

Happily, Tom goes on to answer his own question with a succinct “We don’t think so.”

Not that subtle after all!



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