We want to mix things up and get out of our comfort zone.

Eerily reminiscent of the disembodied Peter Fonda rant that introduces Primal Scream/Andrew Weaterall’s Loaded, this was the terrifyingly irrational rallying call issued by knitworking expert Julia Frogspawn at the recent inaugural meeting of militant pressure group Independent Wimmin in Insurance Networks (iWIN), hosted, perhaps ill-advisedly, by the Worshipfulle Companie of Insurancers.

The hormonal outpourings of disturbingly un-male people of Frogspawn’s ilk, are giving rise to growing unease within the normally level-headed and pragmatic world of insurance.

Hardly surprising, then, that some members of that bastion of tradition and common sense the Worshipfulle Companie (who have recklessly ushered iWim under their venerable aegis) should perceive the self-willed sisters of iWIN, as iWoman Barbara Merry observed at the very same inaugural meeting, as ‘intimidating’ and ‘strident’.

With emotions that go up as high as 57 (compared with the average male’s 3), females are, as anyone who has ever actually gone up and talked to one will readily confirm, inherently terrifying. Scientists have proved that they can bend even the strongest man to their will, using just their bare emotions.

Dependent women are all well and good, of course, and can actually serve a valuable ornamental purpose, but can it be sensible for the Worshipfulle Companions to provide a platform for these self-avowedly independent women?

Independence might sound innocent enough in the abstract, but independent of what we should perhaps be asking. The answer, chillingly, is men! The secret agenda of iWim is in fact nothing short of the total subjugation of the male sex and the remaking of insurance as a man-free profession.

In a world ruled by iWim and their kind, men would be reduced to a pitifully subservient role, hapless targets for distain, mockery, objectification and sexual humiliation, carriers of heavy shopping and fetchers-down of things on high shelves.

Let’s nip this nonsense in the bud, before things get out of hand.




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