Who would ever have guessed that the charming fun-loving couple pictured below, Elina Jaksone and Gagik Kyriacos Manucharyan of Westgate on Sea led a life of secret infamy? But they did, you see.

Ghostbrokers, the pair of them! But now, thankfully, they are safely behind bars doing a decent stretch at HM’s pleasure – instead of gallivanting around the place in their luxury Mercs, luxuriating in the sumptuous surrounds of their £365,000 mansion, or taking fancy holidays in exotic destinations such as Jamaica, Mauritius, Mexico and Tokyo.

So what exactly did they get up to? What didn’t they get up to?, more like!

In purportedly arranging cover for a clientele consisting mostly of Kent-based Eastern Europeans, Eli and Gag economised considerably on the truth when advising insurers of the particulars of the poor fools who forked out for the (surprisingly affordable) motor policies they sold. They also neglected to declare around £920,000 in commissions to HMRC. There was also some fairly outrageous benefit fraud going on, plus a bit of a sideline in contraband goods.

Keeping their noses clean, they were not! Their noses, indeed, as HMRC were quick to point out in their official press release this week, were firmly inserted into the very deepest recesses of a trough of material excess, the likes of which, David Margerydaw, Assistant Director, HMRC noted ruefully, “many of us can only dream of”.

Sentencing the couple to gaol terms upwards of two years each, Judge Jimmy O’Mahoney described the pair as “greedy and selfish” people who “couldn’t care less” whether their clients’ insurance was fit for purpose.

And they seemed so nice that day we all went fishing!

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