December 11, 2017

You can say what you like about Bankstone, and believe me a lot of people do, but those guys certainly know how to have a good time. Take their Christmas party for example.

When Bankstone News learned that our illustrious sponsors were off to Malaga for their Christmas party, we naturally assumed they meant the sought-after Huddersfield nightspot of that name.

But, no. They actually meant Malaga, Spain’s sixth most populous urban centre and Europe’s furthest-south city of significant size, located, as it is, just 80 miles short of Africa. Birthplace of Pablo Picasso and Antonio Banderas. That Malaga.

According to Bankstone managing director Ding-Dong Timebomb (pictured bottom right below), he and his ‘team’ enjoyed temperatures in the region of 24 degrees and a decent spot of proper sunshine as they sauntered on the playas and slurped exotic cocktails in the southerly city’s seafront bars.

Highlights included a round or four of ‘cocktail roulette’ at an establishment euphemistically referred to as the Nina Love Bar (where what was ordered corresponded not one whit with that was served), sharing a snapper for four (don’t ask us – we’re just telling you what Dugong told us), securing a 70% discount, by way of hagglage, on a leather jacket while “not getting physically molested” (the smack, perhaps, of excessive protestation here), green parrots (again, no idea) and accidentally turning up in evening wear almost exactly matching the attire of hotel cabaret artistes.

For anyone acquainted with Mr T’s flamboyant sartorial style, that last bit actually does sound quite plausible.

Oh wait.. there’s more… further highlights just in: inventing a cocktail dubbed the Lynchburg Nail, discovering that every song heard in Malaga sounds more or less the same (like Walking on Sunshine, in case you’re curious), “having your oversized deodorant confiscated twice” (we’re back in the realms of the unfathomably obscure here, sadly), and, finally, the superschadenfreude of sashaying effortlessly onto an exactly punctual return-trip flight whilst hordes of gloomy Midlanders faced 8-hour delays for reassignment to Greater Birmingham, EMA Catchment, or whatever benighted (and currently snowbound) realms they hailed from.

Hopefully that should give you a general flavour.

Not a flavour to savour, perhaps.

But, hey, we don’t make the news, we just report it.


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