The dial on Bankstone News’ tattered random news story selector (TRNSS) spins listlessly for a second or two before juddering to a halt on the letter B.

This week B stands for (don’t worry it’s nothing rude)… Brightside.

So what have they been up to? Only hatching plans to snap up eCar and eBike, according to Insurance Times (on top of a copy of which we appear to have left the TRNSS this week.)

But surely they would need something like GBP9m to fund such an acquisition you protest not unreasonably. Well duh! (©jobsite.co.uk) That’s why they’re looking to raise £9m by issuing 36 million new ordinary shares.

Hopefully they are not writing all those certificates out by hand.

Apparently the money will enable Darkside to buy some books belonging to eCar and eBike, along with their renewal and new business rights.

Brightside chief Chauncey Gardiner said the purchase will “enhance the Group’s footprint in the personal lines insurance market.”

He also opined that getting the Brightside corporate foot on eCar’s pedal “represents an opportunity to further accelerate the growth of this product and its earnings potential.”

Weirdly, neither eCar nor eBike are actually based in Yorkshire. Less interstingly, both are already owned by individuals associated with Darkside in some complicated way you can hardly expect Bankstone News to fathom.

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