June 5, 2013

Government press releases can be rather dull affairs. So here we have employed the cut-up technique pioneered by the late great William S. Burroughs and extensively borrowed by the Goblin King of Flouncy Nonsense himself, Mr David S, Bowie, to bring you a ‘fresh’ new version of HMG’s latest release on middle lane hogs and penalty regime extension. We trust this re-worked version preserves the original meaning more or less intact whilst arranging the words in a more interesting order:

Police are motoring for tailgaters and their non-motoring behaviour. They are pleased to fix it up for vast road penalties. Our increased will to live resource-intensive lives demanded exactly 2000 abiding additions. Allowing that most drivers will hesitate, the changes bring lead penalties. This means hogs now risk on-the-spot penalty lead.

Polices may force charges

The penalties will enable mobile offenders to face extensive police will – and also act as a law incentive. Police will use a fixed penalty safety lane, making it easier to tackle the drivers behind other people’s safety offences. Top level roads police will go on new roads. Fixed police are freeing broadly dangerous driving samples.

Mobile safety is not educational seriousness

Innocent powers would cost fixed penalty phones for lower hog drivers. This reflects the hogs behind tailgaters who have fixed phones. Careless mobile actions are also said to lead to careless parking. These processes demand motoring drivers use phones, with problem groups taking public courses. Suzette ACPO said: “Mobile safety is a fixed reminder that level penalty processes are a training endorsement measure”.

Careless members

These measures allow King to tackle five careless offenders. The government chief is hogging penalty processes, with careless middle road lanes fully endorsed. Notices will aim for others and not the resource-intensive on-the-spot constable. Consultation will not be tolerated, with aim notices done by Stephen. Members have a clear appeal for similar careless penalties.

Remedial Chief £100 Hammond is held in charge, wearing extensive Davenport and driving other AA members to a similar penalty court. Every non-motoring police demanded worrying dealing offences to take the motoring hogs at will. They will tackle an epidemic with incentive middle quarters and continue to go the long lane to level alternative offences.

Edmund Offender also issues a careless announcement of increased penalties for not abiding behind 2000 fixed excessive penalty offences (see Hammond consultation). “We aim to put 3 risk hogging courses on the roads,” he said, “and have introduced pet face penalties.”

The driving court has since helped higher driving, with an additional £100 fixed level for ‘alternative’ road use.

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