Speaking of banning things, as Bankstone News has been quite a lot this week, a good thing to ban might be motor scooters or mopeds as they are sometimes known these days, we understand, (because they used to have both motors and pedals, even though they mostly don’t now).

Or maybe they could still be allowed in remote picturesque villages and such like, where jolly district nurses can ride around on them. But in places like London, Birmingham and Manchester they should definitely be banned.

Hopefully that will happen soon. But until it does, for goodness sake don’t go out and buy one (especially if you live in London), because you’ll only have it robbed within a day or two of purchase.

More than 1,500 bikes are being nicked each month in London and put to use in the commission of a staggering 2,500 thefts (4,000 crimes) each month in the capital.

Met detectives reckon an estimated 500 little tow rags (aka toe rags) are buzzing around town on mopeds carrying out as many as 50,000 crimes a year.

Conveying the advantages of speed, surprise and rapid escape, mopeds are a god send to vicious petty criminals who help themselves to poorly secured bikes drive them off to do a few crimes then trash them on the nearest wasteland area.

Among the motorcycle facilitated criminal acts reported in recent months are motor-mugging, assault with a fire extinguisher, shop window smash and grab, supermarket sweep, going equipped with a hammer, and mounting the kerb with intent to drive along the pavement at high speed.

Being basically a pro-bike sort of publication, of course, Bankstone News would never seriously advocate a bike ban. But if bike owners could maybe just secure their steeds of steel with something more substantial than a steering lock, we could stop the moped maniacs running amock and force them back to preying on their own local communities as nature intended.

So if you live in London, get yourself a 12-foot, 50kg, 25mm steel chain and bloomin’ well use it, You Muppet!


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