Just when you might have been tempted to assume that the fallout from the Quindell Scandal could not get any messier, we learn that former chairperson John Terry stands accused of using £100k of Suindell funds to buy himself a pool and a further £32k on a mini-break in Majorca.

What sort of a pool does £100k buy you, Bankstone News was tempted to wonder on receiving these tidings. Back in the day, a tidy hundred grand would probably have got you some mid-sized municipal baths. These days, sadly, you’d probably have to settle for something like this:

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But before you start visualising Mr Terry, pictured below, floating blissfully in the temperature-controlled waters depicted above, please bear in mind that this image is for illustrative purposes only, and not intended to represent the former Quindle man’s actual aquatic habitat.

Unlike his near namesake former footballer Rob Terry of CFC fame, Mr T’s pad has not been extensively featured in lavish tabloid spreads, for reasons that are gradually becoming clearer with the passage of time. Coincidentally, we can exclusively reveal, the Chelski man also has a pool. Apparently it’s muddy on the bottom and full of fish someone has put there so Terry and his minions can fish them out again.

The accusations of “fraudulent” expense claims on Terry’s part – and, who knows, it could all be a pack of inaccurate representations –  were made by insurance technology firm Watchstone, whom Terry has been pursuing for £250,000 in outstanding “severance pay” he reckons they owe him.

Watchstrap have already paid Terry three quarters of a million (or 7.5 swimming pools, if you prefer), but reckon he’s broken the agreement relating to his severance pay by “failing to disclose” his company-funded pool, holidays, etc. so they’re off the hook.

What are we to make of all these claims and counter-claims (other than an opportunity to use the word claims over and over again in a blatant attempt to boost this website’s SEO rating – assuming that still works)?

Who knows. It’s never been easy to know what to make of the things John Terry says he is or isn’t doing/has or hasn’t done.

Like that time he and his fellow directors bare-facedly led the world to believe they were buying shares in Quindle, until some finicking nitpicker pointed out that ‘effectively selling shares’ would have been a better description of what they were up to.

Buying, selling, why quibble? Not with this guy, at any rate!

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