Think car jacking is what you do when you have a flat tyre? Think frosting is something you’d do to a cake (or maybe someone with whom you’re in an intimate and trusting, if perhaps slightly pervy, relationship)? Think a-freaking-gain, Buster!

Car jacking is the sinister new crime wave that’s quite literally sweeping the nation right now – especially the bits of it that reside in hell-holes like Greater Birmingham and (inevitably) Bradford.

And frosting? That’s the seasonal crime that sees bad guys jump in, and drive away in, your motor while it’s chugging away on the drive defrosting and you’re inside filling that stupid little thermos mug of yours.

Why the current jacking spate? Quite simply, the thing of it is: cars are ruddy difficult to half-inch these days – unless the helpful owner’s gone for key-less unlocking and ignition. So the only way the wrong-uns are going to get your motor off you is to swipe the keys right off your personal personage.

Now, resistance may or may not be useless. It may or may not have more or less unpalatable physical consequences for you or for your assailants, depending on who they’ve chosen to mess with. The only way to find out is: try it and see.

After one of its own employees was targeted by violent carjackers in Halloween (a towny sort of a suburb of West Mids sub-metropolis Dudley) Alcoholics Anonymous decided to issue a ‘warning’ highlighting six incidents in the Birmingham area in just two weeks, and 66 in and around Bradford WY since September.

The AA’s King Edmund says: “the car keys are the weakest link in the car security chain and should be guarded like cash.” The AA, he continues, is “advising drivers to be more vigilant.”

Although, he adds, all Shaw Taylor like, don’t worry too much, because it’s still not all that common for people to get done over for their keys.

Good advice that, though, about treating car keys as if they were as valuable as cash.

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