November 9, 2011

Some people seem to think it’s a big joke to make fun of accountants. “How do accountants liven up their office parties?” they ask. “By inviting a couple of undertakers,” they snigger. “Doctor, Doctor,” they titter, “I only have six months to live. What should I do?” ‘Marry an accountant’. “Why, will I live longer?” ‘No – but it will seem longer.” You get the general idea…

But Bankstone News is not in the business of making fun of accountants. Oh, no! (Actually, what business are we in?) No, Bankstone News thinks accountants are very lovely and important people. And so does our esteemed parent, leading specialist claims handling specialist Bankstone Limited. They like accountants so much, in fact, that they actually want to employ one. Strange but true!

Maybe you’re an accountant? No, of course not. Sorry. But maybe you know someone who is. If so, you might want to advise them of the following exciting career opportunity:

Leading Brighouse-based specialist claims handling specialists Bankstone are looking for a Management Accountant. Reporting directly to the Finance Director, this lucky individual will be responsible for preparing monthly management accounts and year-end reconciliations, cashflow forecasts, VAT returns, and all that kind of thing basically.

They will need to have had some experience. Experience, in particular, of Sage Line 50. Whilst some exposure to the financial services sector would also be good. They will need to resign themselves to spending weekdays 9-5 in canal-side offices in downtown Brighouse, thankfully handy for the M62 and other fastrack escape routes. There’s even a salary. Somewhere between £24 and £28k for someone with good communication skills, outstanding organisational prowess, a powerful sense of self-motivation, and any other appealing attributes they can bring to the table.

But tell your friend to hurry. There’s sure to be a great deal of interest in this superb opportunity.

And don’t be telling them terrible accountant jokes like this: There’s a hall full of accountants having a quiz night. The first contestant’s called up on stage. “What’s 23 plus 5?” “Erm, is it 12?” “Give him another chance,” the other accountants all call out. “What’s 10 plus 10?” “Is it 110?” “Give him another chance,” they all call out again. “Alright, what’s 2 plus 2?” Intense concentration, brow furrowing, perspiration etc. “The answer’s 4.” “Give him another chance,” they all call out.

Was there a particular figure you had in mind?

Was there a particular figure you had in mind?


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