25/04/2014

To you or me, Dear Reader, popular entertainer Roy “Chubby” Brown and top business executive Dickon “Stately, Plump” Tysoe might appear as different as chalk and cheese.

Not so, sadly, to staff at the Wharfdale and Airedale Friday Luncheon Club today who – latest reports suggest – bundled a confused (and temporarily mute, for reasons relating to his enthusiastic engagement, at the time of being thus accosted, in the business of consuming a substantial portion of the aforementioned midday repast) onto the beer-sticky stage and demanded that he begin saying bawdily hilarious things.

In retrospect those wireframe glasses were a mistake, conceded Tysoe ruefully as he recovered outside the venue from the unforgiving barrage of heckling, booing, and partly consumed sandwiches that accompanied his stumbling retreat from the lunchtime limelight.

Why was Dickon at the Wharfedale and Airedale Friday Luncheon Club in the first place? As you would expect, Bankstone News has not the faintest idea. If any reader can explain why he was shirking his proper duties to hang out in such insalubrious surroundings, kindly be so good as to inform editor@bankstone-news.co.uk and you could win a prize.

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