Elite’s kart-vid treat’s a feast for the eyes

July 9, 2017

Let’s face it, the word Elite has become pretty much a byword for up-to-no-goodness lately.

Millions voted for Brexit to express their anti-Elite sentiment. Remoaners, on the other hand, claim gullible nationalists were duped into voting leave by (oh, the irony) an Elite presided over by none other than Herbert Lom lookalike Haroon Banks of Go Skipping fame.

Either way, Elite is hardly a term of endearment. The term Elite, indeed, sits little higher in the nation’s estimation than that vile slur “Expert”. But is this really fair? This week Bankstone News has decided to have a go at rehabilitating the word Elite.

And what better place to start than with than those outstanding purveyors of appropriate and beneficial insurance products Elite Insurance who have no more let their unfortunate name stand in their way than have Livingbridge (formerly Isis Equity Partners) or Barnsley Crazy Paving (formerly Shining Path).

Not content with the aforementioned purveyal, Elite have also just produced what is unquestionably the best (and so far the only) corporate video depicting the thrilling events of Tuesday last week when 13 teams of top insurance types competed bumper to bumper for the coveted title of Insurance Endurers of the Year 2017 at Grantham’s celebrated KPI Kart Trak (see previous editions for details).

Elite wasted no time last week posting a video on YouTub that was notable for its entirely adequate production values, snippy editing, and a memorable comedy moment in the final scene where a member of the Elite mysteriously scoops the fastest lap trophy, despite losing the popular vote. Having said which, Elliot Smart’s lap (not pictured) was recorded travelling at 1:11:19, which must count for something.

As if to prove that they’re not a sinister cabal ready and willing to stitch up anything even vaguely stitchable, Elite refrained from winning the main event (scooped on the day by Lamb Chops or someone), although their video did hint darkly that Elite weren’t the winners… this time.

Nice work with the video, Elite, we say here at Bankstone News. Keep up the good work. There’s always next year, unless… what’s this: “Elite ceases writing new business”? The very day after it was one of thirteen participants in Insurance Endurance? Obviously a coincidence.


July 8, 2017

Crash payments for British drivers are 17 times higher than other nations. That was the shocking finding of an in-depth investigation by leading alt-right T&A paper the Daily Mail (click here for full details – or just get on with reading our handy summary).

According to the Royal Agricultural College (RAC), pay-outs to people who need long term care can add up to a lavish £10m compared with just £6m in France or Germany where they don’t even have £s! While in communist sharia-law hellhole Sweden the spongers are lucky if they get £600,000

Throwing cash at people like this simply means that decent able bodied motorists have to fork out hand over fist for our motor insurance. It’s a scandal on the same scale as foreign aid, and frankly it has to stop, or decent law abiding citizens will be forced to riot.

It’s stuff like quadriplegics and the Ethiopian Spice Girls (ESG) that’s led to insurance costing more in the UK (despite the recent Leave vote) than it does in the fascist superstate across the channel.

That and putting up the rate of Insane Punishment Tax (IPT), which HMG has been reluctantly forced to do because of that note they found back after the last Labour government that said how they’d spent all the money.

It’s got so bad that Compare the Supermeerkat reckon motor insurance premiums have increased 20% in the past two years. Which is quite bad, really.

Steve Goodies of the RAC says: “The nation’s 38 million drivers are all too well aware of the high cost of insurance, and we pay more for our insurance than our continental cousins.” If that’s fair, Bankstone News will be a monkey’s unkle.

Thankfully we’ll soon be leaving Europe and won’t have to think about stuff like that anymore. And, let’s face it, thinking about things nobody’s idea of a good time, least of all Bankstone News’s.

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