Goodbye 2015, Hello Badger’s Arms

December 18, 2015

Christmas comes but once a year, and, as Bankstone News goes to press, it’s getting very close to doing exactly that. Whatever the weather may suggest to the contrary. This, you will be relieved to learn, is the very last edition we’ll be bothering you with in 2015.

We’re off now through til sometime in the new year. Exactly when depends on how we cope with sustained and vigorous indulgence in every form of festive (or non-festive) indulgence and/or overindulgence that may chance to come our way twixt now and then, Dear Reader.

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December 18, 2015

It’s one of those archetypal scenes that plays out again and again in pubs and clubs up and down the land. You’ve had a beer or two. You know that’s going to dull your driving reflexes. But you’re almost half a mile’s walk from home and those unacknowledged ‘When r u coming home?’ texts are starting to pile up. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there.

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December 18, 2015

Episode 5 of Bankstone News’ current audiovisual obsession Broker Apprentice begins with Team E-vole and Team Expire lining up in the boardroom to meet laugh-a-minute task master Jonno ‘Hannibal’ Rork and his trusty sidekicks Mike Reign and Mike Allowance.

Your final task, JR announces ominously, will be to conjure from thin air a ‘digital initiative’ designed to benefit the broking industry. The six would-be apprentices will then, he says, be sent to Coventry’s Digital Arena, where each team will be allowed to use one of the spare exhibition stands no-one else wanted at Insurance Ape’s popular Broker X-Pole NORTH event.

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December 17, 2015

As the final episode of Insurance Aitch’s Broker Apprentice gameshow aired to web this week, we finally learned what it takes to secure an apprenticeship in the world of broking these days: a grammar school education, an upper second class honours degree in Politics and a post graduate qualification in Law. It also helps if you have already been working for a year or so at one of the UK’s top five insurance broking firms.

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December 14, 2015

Regular readers may recall Bankstone News recently explaining why you should never slow down to allow other motorists to pull away from kerbs, exit side roads, etc etc.

Our argument, in case you’ve already forgotten, is that the grateful recipient of your selfless act will thereafter feel so richly imbued with fellow feeling that they will themselves allow some other person pull out in front of them. The chain reaction thus created will logically result in a cross-town driving experience which, like Xeno’s Arrow before it, can literally never reach its destination.

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December 14, 2015

New research from the Institute and Faculty of Actuallys has suggested that crops of personal injury claims grow more abundantly in areas where claims farmers operate than in areas where they don’t. This shock finding throws into even starker relief the urgent need to crack down on the debilitating scourge of claims farming that is turning more and more Brits to whiplash.

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December 14, 2015

Bankstone News is still trying to catch up with all the web-TV it’s got behind on lately. E.g. Episodes 3 and 4 of Insurance Ache’s smash-hit reality video serial sensation The Broker’s Apprentice, which provided our six eager contestants with a salutary life lesson: never take what an insurer tells you at face value.

At the beginning of Episode 3 we see l0v£ Insurance’s Jonno Rork tasking the two teams with “making a movie” to promote the joys of insurance broking. This, he says, they will be showing to a selection of Sarf London sixth-formers to see who does best at luring these hapless innocents towards a life in broking.

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December 13, 2015

Back in March 2013 when ‘broker’ Stuart Picked-on fell out with the underwriter behind the white-labeled domestic items insurance his company My Cover sold, Stu had a bit of a brainwave, asking himself the obvious-with-hindsight question: Who needs an underwriter?

What do underwriters contribute after all? Basically they take the money while the broker does all the hard work. From the instant of that revelatory insight onwards, Stu decided to dispense with the thankless business of involving an underwriter, going on to sell (or mis-sell as pernickety regulators insist on calling it) more than 11,000 100% insurer-free policies.

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December 7, 2015

Bankstone News has been literally besieved this week by hurt and angry readers complaining they’ve been forced to watch multiple episodes of Insurance Ache’s bewildering Broken Apprentice webcast talent show without the benefit of our usual commentaries to help them make sense of it all.

If you haven’t already read our in-depth analysis of the scene setting Ep 1, you can do so here (although we would probably advise against it). Meanwhile, please find below our belated attempt to catch up with Ep 2, which sees teams Perspire and Ee Volve parachuted in to Wimbledon High Street to do some free publicity work for low-tech insurance brokers A Plan.

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December 7, 2015

You know an insurance firm is running short of ideas when it starts bringing in talent from the world of entertainbiz. When it promptly loses that talent again, you begin to suspect its ideas barrel is well and truly scraped to the last soggy splinters.

O’Connor was always an odd choice for AndyCap-owned Blightslide. Little real surprise, then, that now – after just 11 months with the firm – O’Connor has chosen to withdraw his famously square peg from Blightside’s round hole.

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