January 25, 2016

Truth as, they say, can sometimes be funnier than fiction. You know how there are some things you see and you just think: ‘Ha, ha, that’s really funny. That’s so funny you couldn’t make it up. Ha ha ha.’

Here at Bankstone News truth is the very air we breath. We spend our days (when we’re not down the pub), checking and rechecking every tiny detail of the stories we bring you to ensure their absolute accuracy and truthfulness.

But truth can be an elusive little fellow and sometimes we have literally no choice but to make the odd thing up. Nothing major, obviously, just sort of guessing a bit to fill in the gaps and brighten up some of the boring bits.

But, you know, making things up can be tiring work (thirsty too!) and every now and then we get to thinking: why do we have to waste all this valuable drinking time making up a lot of old nonsense for our readers. Why can’t they do it themselves?

That’s why we’re asking you, Dear Reader, to come up with some instructive and educational words that we can stick in here next week and not have to keep nipping back from the Badgers between lunch and home time.

Specifically we’re asking you to write in with chucklesome combinations of three-letter football team names as seen in the top left corner of your telly screen. Huh?, You may ask.

Well, for example: half way through watching (for some unfathomable reason) a recent soccerball game between Southampton and Watford, Bankstone top person Dickson Tyson happened to notice a secret message lurking amidst the characters SOT WAT in the who-are-these-people-and-who’s-winning panel towards the top of his screen.

This discovery had DT chuckling for a good three minutes, twenty two seconds. But we just bet you can tell us something similar that will have him going for five, ten or even fifteen minutes. That’s your challenge, Readers, send your hilarious fixture suggestions (real or hypothetical, league or cup, domestic or international) to mailto:editor@bankstone-news.co.uk.

But no smut, mind you. If you’re thinking of suggesting something like Arsenal v FC Kaiserslautern, stop doing that at once! Your mind is a cesspool. Bankstone News is a family newsletter. Seriously, what is the matter with you!

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