June 15, 2012

Surely you’ve all heard enough about Bankstone’s forthcoming charity fundraising jaunt Medieval Monkeys by now? You haven’t?! Amazing. Well in that case, you’ll obviously be delighted to hear that a final list of participants is rapidly falling into place and that deals have been struck to lay a lavish lunchtime smorgasbord of handpicked delicacies before the riders and support crew on both Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th of July.

The contingent from leading motorcycle knowledge experts BLD will include the redoubtable Mike McMillan on Daisy Dax, Alan Dunkerly (it’s not that Alan isn’t also redoubtable – or endowed with equally praiseworthy personal attributes – just that Bankstone News has already lost the will to provide individual epithets all round) on the BLD Gorilla and Jerry Moorhouse riding point on the Bandit, i.e. repeatedly risking his own life by pulling out and stopping side-on in front of oncoming traffic at roundabouts, right-hand turns onto busy dual carriageways etc. (Has anyone actually told him what the role involves yet? Ah…) Regular stalwart Dobbie will sadly be missing this year as he has the unenviable chore of attending the opening of BLD’s new Birmingham branch.

The contingent from Bikesure could amount to as many as six this year – including, excitingly but confusingly, possibly one or more females! BLD will shortly get to work on priming the various Bikesure monkeys to ensure they’re in tip top shape for 7 July.

Alan Totty will be representing Examworks on their “uniquely” coloured bike, while Ian Scanlon has volunteered the services of the team of Austrian waitresses whose bucket-shaking exertions were so widely admired last year.

Bott and Co’s Dennis Wakefield has promised to get his sadly neglected monkey working (cue BLD again) so that he can ride his own bike this year and is looking for another Bott and Co representative to provide back up and potentially fill the mission critical role of navigator when he/she has nothing better to do.

Regrettably, Simon Shaw, Knaresborough’s stentorian town crier – who contributed so much to the overall volume of the event last year – will be unable to resist coming along again this year.

Meanwhile The Bike Insurer are threatening to add a further two participants to their already vast contingent and have hatched an evil plan to supe up their monkeys with 140cc engines to ensure maximum burn off capabilities on the day (an evil plan curiously identical to that hatched by Bankstone’s own dashing Duke of Jones).

Don’t forget you too can still take part. Come along as a back up rider, general support person or outright hanger on – or stump up a measly £580 and you can ride out on your very own 125cc Monkey or Gorilla (see previous week’s Bankstone News for full details).

Meanwhile Bankstone has announced that hearty al fresco lunches will be provided on both days, with Lord Allan of Poppleton, assisted by his trusty squire Sir Timothy Couer de Lodge and the fair Lady Kathryn of Addingham (aka the Flapjack Queen) determined to outdo one another in the splendour of their fayre they lay on at the roadside on Saturday somewhere near Ripley and on Sunday somewhere Rievaulx Abbey-ish respectively. Linen draped boards are sure to be literally groaning beneath a copious profusion of larks’ tongues, sweetmeats, barons of beef, roast swan, suckling pig and all the other latest flavours from Walkers Crisps. Gary Lineker is not expected to attend, however, due to being too busy worrying about young drivers and whether telematics is all going the way of the app.

More news soon – but not in next week’s Bankstone News which is going to be a special issue focusing on this September’s Insurance Endurance event at Daytona Milton Keynes.


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