Much as we all enjoy reading about people’s hilariously inept driving – and their cackhanded subsequent attempts to claim financial compensation for the misadventures to which this inevitably gives rise, compilations of funny claims stories almost invariably turn out to consist of the same old chestnuts that have been doing the rounds for decades.
So Bankstone News experienced something close to rapture as a fresh wave of hilarious new stories appeared to blow in from South Wales. Admiral this week issued a press release detailing the “most bizarre” claims it has seen in the past two years. Rather than hysterical mirth, however, Bankstone News’ first reaction was one of perplexity.
How exactly could it be that one “unfortunate motorist’s pride and joy was destroyed by a nest of mice who took a liking to its stylish leather interior.” Can rodents really write off a motor vehicle? Did they start on the leather interior and work their way out into the chassis and engine. Or was the owner some kind of fetishist whose pride and joy consisted exclusively in the leather. Were the mice in a nest when they arrived, or did that come later. Too many questions. Too few (specifically, too few funny) answers.
What’s next? “Another motorist collided with a bollard after their front passenger pulled up the handbrake mistaking it for the puppy which had jumped down from their lap.” Granted, this claim does indeed sound bizarre – not to say wildly implausible. Presumably it was immediately repudiated on the basis of the “failure to secure lapdog” exclusion.
Peacocks, Admiral claims, have emerged as a major threat to motor vehicles over the past 24 months, with the showily strutting avians implicated in no fewer than four separate attacks (25% of all animal inflicted damage incidents) including one in which, shockingly, “a car was clawed by a peacock after seeing its reflection in the paintwork.”
Other animal-related incidents (remember, animals are by definition funny) included the hard-to-disentangle report of a “driver distracted by a camel and an elephant tethered at the side of the road who collided with a bollard”, the man who crashed after leaning over to “stroke his dog” and a car damaged after being trampled by a “miniature pony” which “broke loose” at a village fete.
Accepting that it is “difficult to protect your car exterior from a frantic peacock,” Admiral’s Dave Halliday nevertheless insisted that motorists should resist the distractions of animals.
Although such incidents are “amusing to read about,” he admitted, “any incident is distressing for those involved and our handlers are trained to be understanding and professional.
This shows, Halliday goes on to protest unconvincingly, that “car insurance is not always as dull as you may think.”
No, sometimes it’s immeasurably duller.
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