March 13, 2015

Anyone who tries to tell you that telematics is anything other than an unalloyed boon to humanity is clearly talking out of their tinfoil hat.

It’s all part of some sinister plot to enslave us all under the all-seeing surveillance of a tiny global elite, they’ll try to tell you. Black boxes today, biochips and thought control nano-bots tomorrow, they will warn. Resist now – or it will soon be too late, they continue, tediously.

Well, if telematics is so evil, how come it just SAVED THE LIFE of one unfortunate 18 year old driver who suffered severe injuries when his vehicle crashed on a remote country in the middle of the night? Huh?

That’s right, People, telematics surveillance devices are on YOUR SIDE. If young Max hadn’t been sufficiently intimidated by punitive young persons’ motor insurance premiums to assent to having his every move tracked, he wouldn’t be alive today.

According to his insurers, Drive Like a Girl (DLAG), Max’s injuries “could have killed him” if the telematics box provided by insuremybox hadn’t registered his coming to a very sudden halt, alerting the emergency services, and guiding them to him using GPS location technology.

Max did the right thing by agreeing to have a tracking device installed beneath the dashboard of his car. “I feel lucky to be alive,” he said, and so he is.

But remember: not all telematics boxes can save your life. Only those provided by insuremybox, its sister brand Throw Like A Girl, and Tesco Bank’s Box Insurance.

So don’t forget to ask for 24-hour on-road surveillance (curfews may apply) from one of these trusted brands: insuremybox, DLAG, or TB Box Insurance.

Otherwise you could end up dead.

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