The cost of injury claims in the UK motor insurance market has been rising by 30% per annum lately, claims ‘professional services’ firm Towers Watson rolling out the one half-passable factoid in their latest guff-fuelled press pronouncement as reported in Insurance Times this week.

This rising tide of claims “delivers new challenges to many insurers’ future profitability,” Towers Watson argues, in fluent consultant speak.

But who are these Towers Watson people?

Less fluent in basic English – and specifically challenged as regards telling an adjective from an adverb – Towers Watson throw together a cack-handed clutch of ill-wrought sight-related verbal conceits on their website to claim incomprehensibly that “our focus is on giving you the clarity to make the right decisions,” “our approach is grounded in perspective,” and “more important, our perspective begins at eye level.”

But we need not detain ourselves in grappling with the nebulous question of WTF TW and their “14,000 associates around the world” actually do – not when they’re making arresting claims like “insurers are in urgent need of finding a new competitive edge” and “insurers are now forced to compete on cost across a wider cross section of the market because of the significant changes in customers’ shopping habits.”

Towers Watson senior consultant Gustav Mahler says: “The jump in injury claims specifically has been met with widespread concern across a sector already under intense pressure to innovate, while carriers push to respond quickly to consumer needs in difficult financial times. In response, some insurers have acted quicker and more effectively by thinking laterally to improve their business process, reflecting a company culture highly correlated with performance.”

Brilliantly subtle analysis there, GM. But might you not have considered ‘more quickly’ for ‘quicker’ in your second sentence?

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