January 5, 2018

In what must surely be one of the most elaborate and well-organised motor insurance fraud attempts ever perpetrated, more than 1,500 vehicle owners arranged to gather their vehicles in a seven-floor multi-storey car park next to Liverpool’s Echoey Arena – under the pretence of attending something described as a “horse show” – and torched the lot!

That, at least, was the allegation made this week by an unidentified source, who claimed UK motor insurers have been deluged with tens of thousands of calls quoting “Merseyside Police log 650 on 31/12/17” this week.

Many of the callers claimed to have lost cars that were crammed to the rafters with newly acquired and extremely valuable Christmas presents – or, in at least one case – a boot full of (almost) priceless antique Indonesian votive figurines carved from highly flammable balsa wood.

Suspicions were initially aroused by the massive scale and rapid spread of the blaze. One online commentator noted that in tests conducted in a similar scenario, “fire jumped cars every 5 minutes or so” whereas, in the Echoey Arena car park, hundreds of cars were already ablaze in the eight minutes it took fire crews to respond to initial reports of a vehicle on fire at 4.42pm, just after darkness fell.

Experts claim there has never previously been a fire like this, anywhere, ever. And indeed numerous eye-witnesses to the spectacular and explosive blaze claimed they had never seen anything like it. Car tyres, fuel tanks and engines were popping like popcorn in a microwave oven, bystanders confirmed, in a conflagration that was quite literally a towering inferno – with cars.

“Miraculously”, no human lives were lost, while Gizmo, Hank, Cassie and Betty, the canine occupants of one car left on the unroofed top floor (where several vehicles were afterwards discovered virtually unscathed), were rescued by emergency responders.

Sadly, pets left in any vehicles on the lower levels would not have fared so well. The one upside, as reported by the MailOnline, was that the brave boys who rescued Gizmo and his pals were able to keep the lucky pups “fed with some spare hot dogs.”

But motor insurance fraud may not, in fact, have been the true cause of this bizarre and inexplicable incident. MailOnline commentator Zaardoz of Vortex (he of the 5-minute fire-jump claim quoted above) reckons it may have been part of a sinister plan by “elite masons” to set UK (aka Babylon) ablaze as a smokescreen for their (equally sinister) attempt to take complete control of the country (or preferably the entire world).

Hopefully, for those of us eager to understand what really happened, the ill-fated car park (once vaporised floors have been made sufficiently safe) will soon be a-crawl with painstaking claims investigators raking the site for readable reg plates, vehicle and parts identification numbers, and traces of charred balsa.


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