March 23, 2012

In an introductory paragraph that falls so miserably far short of kindling reader interest that, rather than merely underwhelming, it fails to whelm at all, Confusing.com this week exclusively revealed that “shocking” new research has proved not only that some UK drivers have “habits”, but that some of these even admit to indulging in “behaviours”.

Fortunately Bankstone News has an extremely high boredom threshold and hence found the hackneyed hyperbole of “shocking” sufficient inducement to read on. Had we not done so, we would never have known that the UK’s roads are literally awash with death-dicing flip-flop and slipper wearers – not to mention virtually naked people.

Inappropriate footwear is the scourge of the modern age. Thank heavens Confusing.com’s Garth Klot has had the courage to make a stand, insisting that every man and woman in Britain should keep “a pair of suitable shoes in the car to avoid any crashes.”

Presumably the shoes should actually be worn (on the driver’s feet?) to afford maximum protection from crashes. But how do we know whether a pair of shoes is suitable or not? “Look at your feet,” Garth recommends, adding helpfully that “if you are wearing shoes which you would not wear for a driving test, then you probably shouldn’t wear them to drive either.”

Confusing.com’s press release goes on to reveal that 47% of women aged 25-34 and 40% of 18-24 year old men wear flip-flops to drive, and that, perhaps surprisingly, the over-55s are the least likely to drive in slippers, whereas 21% of 18-24 year old women do. Some people apparently drive in nothing but pyjamas, shave, eat and apply make-up at the wheel.

Brake woman Julie Townsend (yes, her again) said “It’s deeply worrying that many drivers have so little regard for their own and others’ safety that they will apply make-up, shave and eat at the wheel, or wear unsuitable footwear.”

On a more permissive note, Garth Klot admitted that: “It’s not against the law to drive in your pyjamas or pick your nose at traffic lights.”

Exercise your precious freedoms while you still have them, Bankstone News says!


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