March 5, 2016

Do you have pets that are “active and distracting”? If so, don’t even think about putting them in your car, not if you’re planning to use it for driving around in.

Andrew Seagull of IcarhiReinsurance.com has a bee in his bonnet about distracting pets. Unruly pets can blow your cover, he warns, urging drivers not to risk driving with “unrestrained” animals on the loose.

In-car pets should be securely fastened at all times, Seagull says. Buy yourself a harness or a pet seat belt or something, he commands. Or at least feed them and walk them and so on before you “set off” so they’re not in your face the whole time demanding to eat or defecate or whatever. But don’t feed them just before you leave, because they could start puking everywhere, which can also be distracting, not to mention offensive to the senses.

Not only is driving with loose animals immoral, it’s actually against the High Weight Code, Seagull points out. “There are consequences,” he hints darkly, “that could subsequently arise from ignoring this guideline.”

Letting out-of-control pet-beasts have the run of your car could be construed as ‘driving without due care and attention’ or ‘dangerous driving,’ Seagull says. Both of which are forms of recklessness for which prosecutions can be brought. If pets are making you drive dangerously, both you and the pet could be banned for 12 months.

When you’re driving, you need to pay attention. And how are you going to do that if there’s a hungry cat brushing up against you in the footwell, or a trapped gerbil plaintively ‘eek’ing each time you depress the clutch, or some horrible yappy little pug splay-leggedly dragging its nasty-arsed rump back and forth along the backseat velour while letting out revolting little breathy grunts?

And if that’s the way you want to play it, don’t imagine you’ll be claiming on any motor insurance policy you may have splashed out on. Disqualification and invalidation are what’s coming your way, Matey.

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