July 17, 2014

What is this modern obsession with treating customers fairly? Treating customers fairly? Do they think the great commercial empires of past and present got built by “treating customers fairly”? If we all went round treating customers fairly there’d be precious little point getting out of bed in the morning. Only the very slowest of bucks ever got made by treating customers fairly.

It’s like this nonsense about, “Oh, the customer is always right”. Really?! The customer is right when they make absurd nonsensical assumptions about what they’d like from your product or service and then get all upset when they don’t get it, are they?

That seems to be what the FCA are saying, now they are taking comparison sites to task because they focus on finding people cheap insurance rather than insurance that’s actually fit for purpose (and also, incidentally, for being a little less than fully forthcoming about being owned by insurers in certain cases).

Do consumers seriously think comparison sites have nothing better to do than to sit around all day agonising over their every whim, desire and special circumstance? Is it jolly mean that comparison-site quote-engines don’t trot off like digital Santa’s elves and scurry back in a jiffy with an insurance policy that’s just exactly right for you? Read the small print, Dummies. Take a punt like any other sucker, and stop your sickening whinging.

The customer is not always right. That prerogative, along with those of omnipresence, world-creatorship, and immaculate sexual congress with lady humans, belongs exclusively to God. When God comes looking for a motor insurance policy, you can be sure he’ll be fairly treated to the very ultimate degree. In the meantime, everybody else can take what they’re given or get the hell out.

Jesus_Christ_driving_the_money_changers_from_the_temple

We honestly thought you said “monthly’ Lord!


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