September 27, 2013

Picture the scene: a sneaky looking youth in swaggy jeans, hoodie and baseball cap pulls up to the forecourt pumps. He starts pouring fuel in his Lime Green Ibiza.

Slam! Cage doors descend on all four sides of him. Red pump-lights pulse with ferocious intensity, while a deafening klaxon repeatedly shrieks. “Uninsured driver detected. Uninsured driver detected,” intones an artificially well-spoken female voice again and again.

In rage and frustration, the cornered premium dodger hammers uselessly at the cage – like a frantically tantrum-ing toddler in his oversized ghetto-style garb.

But cop cars soon screech up and specialists leap out, leveling their tazers as they charge towards the powerless youth who knows now with horrible certainty that his pride and joy will soon be scrap and he’ll never drive again.

Such heart-warming scenes could soon become familiar after the PM’s Office announced that automatic number plate recognition cameras will soon be in use on petrol station forecourts to help put motor insurance premium dodgers out of action for good by denying them the oxygen of petroleum.

The youth of today seem to feel they have a god-given right to drive but aren’t prepared to pay just a few hundred pounds a week for compulsory motor insurance. Sorry, Guys, if you can’t afford the ticket, you don’t get on the ride!

The one in twenty five motorists who would rather pay fines than buy insurance will no longer be able to purchase fuel on Britain’s forecourts. From now on they will have to steal it from other people’s cars – or get it from black market dealers operating from makeshift fuel bunkers in lock-ups, sheds and fronting businesses purporting to offer services like carwashing or repairs.

That should make them think twice!

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