October 29, 2010

What would MacGyver do in this situation? That was the question Connecticut bachelor Jonathan Metz asked himself in the grave-like quiet of his cellar after getting his arm stuck in a central heating furnace.

After due consideration – assuming he would otherwise die before anyone found him – Metz concluded that the clean-cut 80s action hero would probably have cut his own arm off at the shoulder then run upstairs to stick it in the freezer. Fans of the series may struggle to recall any episodes involving self-amputation, but perhaps MacGyver would have done just that.

Three days after his disappearance, firemen located Mr Metz not far off completing the MacGyver-inspired DIY op, held back only by a troublesome nerve that made him faint each time he tried to cut it through with improvised surgical tools. Only loosely attached to its owner at this point, the arm finally came away as firemen tore off the furnace door.

Facing a broadly similar dilemma, The Co-operative Group appears to be contemplating a similarly MacGyveresque course of action, with plans to axe its £18m life insurance arm.

The general insurance arm, however is staying attached. Who knows when such a thing may come in handy.

Before any chopping or sawing and begins, however, the Co-op is understood to be sounding out interest from potential new owners for the severed limb.

The Telegraph reckons Phoenix and Resolution have already declined the opportunity of acquiring the Co-op’s unwanted appendage. Whether Legal & General, Aviva and Royal London are similarly content to pass up the chance of owning a fresh-hewn upper limb remains as yet unclear.


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