November 20, 2017

You or I, Dear Reader, or any other normal person for that matter, would probably never dream of placing one of our motions on a table for all to see. Or at least, if we did, it would be one of those really weird dreams, the ones we’d never mention to a soul, and would probably wake from flushed with inner shame.

But in Parliament they do things, shall we say, differently. Nigel Evans (Con), MP for Dribble Valley has ‘tabled’ an early day motion (always the best kind, I’m sure you’ll agree) whilst calling for Canceller Philip Spreadsheet to announce an immediate freeze on Insane Punishment Tax (IPT) in his budget this week, for ‘the duration of this Parliament’.

Innocent of the arcane ways of the Mutha of Parliaments, Bankstone News initially assumed this meant forever, or as long as there shall be a parliament within this sceptered isle, or at least until the cabinet concludes that parliamentary democracy is getting in the way of delivering on the will of the people (WotP).

A passing ‘expert’ however quickly put us straight. Apparently, it could just mean til the end of the year, or until there’s another general election, or something. In which case, it could be anytime, really. But even if the frame of freezage turns out to be fleeting, an IPT freeze is surely devoutly wishable.

Whilst tabling his motion, Nige pointed out that IPT has doubled since 2015 (see previous tory) and has gone up faster than the tax on tobacco or a ferret up a trouser leg, whichever may be the more rapid. To put that in perspective, Nige noted, Insane Punishment Tax now raises more money for HMG than beer, cider and spirits! Which is a sobering thought.

Let’s hope the Canceller is listening and does the right thing by making an immediate frieze on IPT one of his final actions before everyone says his budget was rubbish and he needs to move out of Number 11 so Göve can stop having to pretend he’s deeply concerned about the environment and everything.

Nice job, Nige, we say here at Bankstone News!

Nige Evans (centre), hands on member for Dribble Valley


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