There was a time when Bankstone CEO Dixon Tilsley would go out of his way to rub shoulders with elite politicians past and present. Who can forget, for instance, the time when, for a not inconsiderable period of time, he quite literally rubbed shoulders with former Top Tory weed advocate and train fancier Miguelito Portillio.

But with the net of censure, if not punition, rapidly tightening around the current government and those therewith embroiled, DT has wisely decided to distance himself from any potential entanglement with the terminally tainted corridors of power, and hence evade unwelcome quizzing on topics such as handsiness.

To that end, he’s undergone a dramatic make-over. Gone is the clean-cut smooth-faced Gove-esque look he formerly favoured. In comes a grizzlier, unequivocally masculine, short back and sides look inspired by enemy submarine captains of the last world war.

The effect is Russel Crowe meets Jeremy Renner meets some beardy old bloke you might meet in Fitcher’s Woods round the back of Morrisons. Friends confide Mr T’s rugged new look is turning heads wherever he goes. “He’s certainly getting a lot of attention,” one confirmed, with just a hint of ambiguity.

Is the new look a hit? Judge for yourselves, Dear Readers. Why not write in and tell us. Should the face fuzz remain, or should Tyson revert to his former image and risk being mistaken for the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, with all the perils that implies?

While you’re admiring the changing face of Dixie Timebomb, why not see if you can identify the particular stretch of tumbling watercourse in the picture behind him in the second shot. There’s a year’s free subscription to Bankstone News for the first correct answer. Simply email [email protected]

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