June 1, 2012

Fast moving insurance broking (FMIB) outlet Kwik-Fit Financial Services (KFC) claims it is better-positioning itself for growth by shutting its Birmingham office, where 170 jobs are reportedly under threat, and focusing operations on its Glasgow office.

Situated, geographical-location wise, in the charming Staffordshire hamlet of Great Barr, Kwik-Fit’s Midlands hub has apparently committed the cardinal contemporary crimes of being “unsustainable” and contributing needlessly to the firm’s operating costs.

Kwik-Fik have announced a 90-day “consultation period” during which they will presumably be kwizzing local staff on whether they think the closure of their workplace is a really good idea.

The three-month summer stay of execution will also allow Kwik-Fit bosses to kwell any kwalms its doomed employees may be sensing – by holding a number of “open days” (perhaps an ironic allusion to the many “closed days” to come) at which staff will learn valuable new skills such as how to write a CV, look for another job etc.

For more capable and valuable employees, there may also be some kind of introduction to the attractions of moving to Glasgow and potentially being part of the birth of a new independent Scotland a couple of years from now.

Nor has the possibility been ruled out that some former Brumsters could find new roles with KFC’s insurer parent Ages (formerly Fortits) in either Stoke or Gloucester.

Managing Director June Lunch commented: “This consultation period will allow us to consider a proposal to consolidate our business onto one site. We realise this is a difficult and uncertain time for those impacted and, should a regrettable loss of jobs become a reality, we will do our utmost to ensure our colleagues in Birmingham are able to find alternative employment.”

Hence the CV writing workshops. Although, of course, if Great Barr staff conclude, following due consultation, deliberation etc, that consolidating in Glasgow may not be the best route for the firm’s ongoing future going forward on the road ahead, it will presumably never come to that.


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