October 14, 2016

Insurers have reacted with fury to rumours that the government is pulling back troops previously committed to the War on Whiplash and redeploying them to the struggle for freedom from European tyranny.

Amidst reports of laconic politicians and civil servants citing other fish to fry, the ABI has issued a stern warning that HMG should do as it’s been told – or answer for ordinary decent motorists paying the price.

It was national institution, journal of record, and plaything of Australian plutocrat Rupert Murder, The Times which first revealed that government may be rowing back, climbing down, back pedalling, or otherwise engaging in sporting activities the wrong way round.

“Unenthusiastic” is how ministers’ views on WoW are now described. Which, quite honestly, isn’t good enough, say “disappointed” insurers.

According to The Times, motor insurers feel the government has just been ‘sitting around for the past six months’ while urgent action on ending cash compensation for minor injuries and keeping lawyers out of it goes un-actioned. Meanwhile “ambulance chasers and cold callers” are “laughing all the way to the bank at the expense of honest motorists,” the ABI claims.

“Much needed reform to the civil justice system would save motorists up to £50 a year on average,” claims the ABI’s Jimmy Dalton (pictured). Which is money that would really come in handy, what with average per-vehicle fuel costs set to soar by upwards of £1,200 per annum thanks to the aforementioned struggle for freedom from European tyranny.

If things go on like this, the UK’s frustrated and slighted insurers might just throw in the towel, pack up shop, and move back in with their parents in continental Europe. Oh, yes, we’re a thankless lot, us Brits. But, frankly, who cares when we’re top of the table by a mile in the soft tissue injury league.

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