April 14, 2016

Just exactly what do top insurance people do when they’re not, you know, literally insuring people? That’s a question most of us must surely have asked ourselves from time to time.

Bankstone News has half a mind to get up off its big fat ars* and do something about finding out. Sadly, the other half of our mind and both houses of the aforementioned BFA would almost certainly join forces to overrule any such initiative.

One tantalising clue did come our way this week, however, when a new ‘lobbying group’ of personal injuree lawyers called A2J (Access to Juice) claimed that insurers have been playing dirty tricks on the government.

One of the more recent and most scurrilous of these apparently involved placing a ‘hoodwink’ * over the head of government and tricking it into believing that annual motor insurance premiums might come down a bit (specifically, between £40 and £50 quid) if PI claims were banned.

Whether or not Chancer George Osborne was wearing the aforementioned hoodwink when, as part of his Autumn Collection 2015, he unveiled just such a claims ban, Bankstone News has, as yet, been unable to establish. But unveil one he certainly did.

But now A2J have done some unveiling of their own, utterly refuting insurers’ hopelessly vague premium-cutting promises. They have analysed past and present experience and their own judgement to proove conclusively that ‘premiums will continue to rise, as insurers replace falling investment income with higher prices.’

If insurers try to claim otherwise, A-J insist, it will simply proove that the insurance industry’s fraud statistics are “partial and perverse”.

A J2O spokesperson went on to offer the frank opinion that: “The idea that the insurance industry is on the side of the consumer is, frankly, laughable.”

Don’t believe anything those evil grasping insurers say, urge J2A, noting insurers’ damning refusal to offer cast iron guarantees that savings from banning PI claims will be passed on to the consommé.

Hard to argue with factually-based arguments like those.

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* Hoodwink [huu\d|wän’ck] n. Archaic term denoting an item of apparel combining features of both a ‘head-bag’ (cf. Ger. kopfsack) and a blindfold. (see artist’s impression above).


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